Five Things to do to Boost Your Relationship
Here at Happier Living, one of our top goals is to help our clients live happier and healthier lives. We often do this with help from the P.E.R.Fi.C. System, a powerful tool developed by our founder, Dr. Lawrence Genen, to help you set goals and track progress across the five most important areas of your life: physical health, emotional health, relationships, financial health, and career and passion.
This month, we are spotlighting relationships. Happier Living’s Director of Clinician Experience and relationship expert Dr. Alexis Weisinger shares five ways to boost relationships with our partners now and throughout the year.
Break out of your usual routine. Nothing peps a relationship up like spontaneity! This is why surprises can be so delightful, because they are unexpected treats. Propose a spontaneous road trip to somewhere you and your partner have never been; go online to see what sort of last-minute, local events are happening in your area and plan one for you and your partner; put on some music and have an impromptu dance party. Anything fun, playful and outside of your typical routine can really help boost your relationship by reintroducing excitement and novelty back into the mix!
Introduce check-ins into your relationship. Be it weekly, biweekly, or monthly, relationships can really benefit from couples making time to regularly "check-in" with one another. Whether you've been together a long time and have simply taken for granted that you know one another in terms of needs and expectations, or your life has just gotten busy due to the nature of your work and day-to-day responsibilities, regular check-ins are the perfect way to boost your relationship by ensuring that both partners are happy and that everyone's needs are being met. These sessions can be used not only to determine what can be improved, but also to reflect upon and celebrate what you both do so well as a couple.
Cultivate a shared interest, passion, or project. The couple who plays together stays together! Dr. Graham Spanier developed the Dyadic Adjustment Scale to assess the components of relationship functioning that contribute toward overall happiness in romantic relationships. One of the four main components leading couples to feel most satisfied with their relationship involved the ability to work together on shared projects or sharing interests with one another. So go ahead and sign up for a cooking or ballroom dance class together, or start planning on how to re-design and decorate that spare room in your home to turn it into a space you can both enjoy.
Practice meaningful connection. In this world of technology, we are all perpetually attached to our phones, screens, and devices. All too often these devices find their way into our meal times, our conversations, and even our beds. Research has shown that rates of sex and intimacy have declined considerably among Millenials and Gen-Z's, and technology has been identified as the culprit. Having conversations while using our phones means we are not making eye contact, our focus is divided (reducing the likelihood that we are fully hearing what the other person is saying), and we are less likely to recall the interaction or the details of the conversation. Moreover, it conveys to the other person that what they are saying is less interesting than whatever is going on in our cell phone. One surefire way to boost the quality of your relationship is to put aside your devices and practice moments of meaningful connection, which can breathe new life into your relationship, removing an interrupting third party and recentering the focus upon you and your partner.
Practice small acts of loving kindness. It may be cupping the back of your partner's head gently as you walk past them in the morning, bringing them a cup of coffee or shooting them a wink from across the room. Anything small and simple that displays love and recognition of/appreciation for your partner goes a long way.
