The Most Wonderful (and Stressful) Time of the Year

The holiday season can be a time for celebration and connection – but can also prove stressful and painful for some. Shopping for gifts, endless events and event planning, and family get togethers can take their toll.

Here are some suggestions for managing the stress – and in the process, hopefully finding ways to relax and experience some joy.

Take time out for yourself by practicing a little self-care, suggests Maren Batts, a Happier Living psychiatric nurse practitioner. Make time for those activities that relax you. For example, “set aside some time for exercise and quiet reflection through the busy days,” she says. She also recommends keeping healthy snacks around that still feel indulgent, such as pistachios, a cheese assortment, jams, or apple cider. Batts also recommends keeping your alcohol intake to a minimum “to allow yourself to fully enjoy the moments with the people you love.”

Ask for help. It may be a good time to schedule an extra appointment with your clinician or talk to a trusted family member. Whether it’s family dynamics or something else, communicate your feelings and concerns. By letting people know what is going on, you can avoid tension and misunderstandings. “A lot of people struggle with the holidays because they are forced to encounter family members or loved ones who they may not have the best relationship with,” says Kensie Hoag, a Happier Living licensed clinical social worker. “It’s important to remember that you can say no. It is okay not to attend gatherings if they make you uncomfortable,” she says. “It is okay to stay home or spend the time with people in your life who do make you feel good.” 

By doing a little advance prep work and taking care of yourself, you may be able to avoid some of the stress of years passed and start some new traditions. 

Give yourself permission to not achieve everything that you want to during the holiday season, says Julianne Dunn, a Happier Living therapist. “Remember that spending time with the people that we love is more important than having a ‘perfect’ holiday,” she says. “Make sure [to] have reasonable and achievable expectations, because we already set ourselves up for anxiety if we start out with impossible expectations of ourselves and others. Take the time to really savor the moments that you have instead of what you wished would have gone differently.” 

It is important to remember that holidays are just a day, says Hoag. “They are the same as any other day, except for the meaning we give them. It is okay if parts of the day don't go well. Go into the day thinking, ‘It is just another day. I will get through this day like I have every other day in my life. I have a 100% success rate getting through all of my other days.’” 

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